A Day Spent with "The Rad"

My Reader photo shoot with Conrad was on Tuesday. They requested he wear a Hawaiian shirt and he refused stating that they are "too middle aged for him." Also he was 30 minutes late. I arrived five minutes before twelve. I called Conrad to find out about his whereabouts. He was at a mall 15 minutes away looking for his keys that he had misplaced somewhere, he wasn’t sure where. I kind of wanted to kill him.

Luckily his tardiness ended up being a good thing because I was able to get to know Howie, the photographer and Reader operations director, better. He is a pretty cool guy. Although he did ask me a million and one questions, which always makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. When asked about the origins of my name I explained that it was Gaelic and that as a result kids in school called me the gay licker. There was a long drawn out awkward pause after that. Perhaps I overshared? I was trying too hard to win him over with my personality, kind of like the kids in high school who tried to wow the other students into voting for them for something silly like student council or homecoming court. Let’s face it I’m a bit of an awkward person.

When I told Howie that Conrad has not yet read the story, it was suggested that I don't allow it until after we finish taking all the photos for the article. I guess maybe it is a bit brutal. Now I am paranoid that I am a mean heartless jerk.

When Conrad finally showed up the photographer was overjoyed by the fact that, although he had  not worn a hawaiian shirt, Conrad had managed to sport a necklace with a pendent the size of an infant. 

I took Conrad out to lunch afterwards because I was starting to feel like a shitty daughter-in-law.  We went to this ridiculously overpriced Italian restaurant and sat way too close to two overdressed women. So close in fact that if I extended my elbow a little it would graze against their table. They kept giving Conrad the evil eye every time he would laugh loudly or exhibit his terrible table manners. He finished his meal in about a minute flat and when I had leftovers asked if he could have them. It was pretty comical.

It was nice to spend the afternoon with Conrad. I don’t think the two of us have ever hung out alone before. I am going to make an effort to spend more time with the old guy. After my dad passed away I had a hard time being around Conrad. He had this expectation that with my dad gone he was supposed to act as my fatherly figure. While it was sweet that he tried to step into my dad’s role, I hated it. I had this idea that my dad was a far better human being than Conrad and that he could never come close to being the kind of person my dad was. Isn’t that a terrible thing to think? The truth is that the two of them are just very different. They are both remarkable men. For a long time I had some serious misdirected anger aimed toward Conrad. It was silliness and I’m over it now.

A few hours after I got home from our lunch Conrad called. He didn't even say hello, all he said when I answered the phone was "How are your bowels, mine aren’t doing so good?" He always keeps it classy. Apparently the Italian food did him wrong.

On Tuesday I will be going to Mexico with Howie to capture photos of Conrad, Eunice, and the kids for the article. I’m super excited. I think it’s going to be a really fun little adventure. It’s not every day that I get to Mexico in the middle of the week. Maybe I’ll buy a poncho.

Our family picture from our last Mexico Visit.