Thursday, April 26, 2007

Aaron is into grandmas

For the last couple of months Aaron has been bringing home bulk grocery items from work. Finally I had to ask

"Is there like a Costco in the basement of spawar that I don't know about."

"It's from Julie," he told me.

He went on to explain that she kept buying bulk stuff only to find out she doesn't like the item. She has been passing things on to Aaron. Up to that point I had never heard of this Julie person. With Aaron being an engineer there are very few women at his work. I like it that way because I have a tendency toward psychotic jealousy. Yes, that's right I am a freak.

After learning who the bulk items were from I started to get super annoyed every time he would bring something home. Had the woman not heard of a regular grocery store where you buy a small box and aren't out like $20 if you aren't fond of baked cheetos? The last straw was the night he brought home this fancy gourmet soup that had a pasty note on the side, that read
"Enjoy! from Julie."

I was pissed! I swore her little note that read "enjoy!" was code for I think your hot and I want you to run away with me.

I didn't talk to Aaron all night and for spite, I ate his soup. It was good I should add, really good! Finally Aaron realized that I was giving him the cold shoulder. It takes that man ions to pick up on things. I told him that I thought this Julie person was hitting on him. He went into this horrible fit of laughter that lasted forever! I thought I might kill him.

"Why is this funny?" I asked

"Because she is a grandmother, she's old, really old. She passes food on to us because she knows we have three kids and that you stay home with them." He told me

That's when I started to feel like an idiot and a big jerk but I still wasn't ready to let go of my theory that she was in fact hitting on him.

"Old people hit on young guys."

I realized how stupid and annoying I was being but sometimes I don't like to admit to defeat also it can be fun to be mad. I started picturing Aaron and a grandmother running off together, her with her little cane and bifocals. It was all together hilarious.

"You're lucky you have me because all you can get is a granny." I told him

Now whenever Aaron gets ready for work in the morning he will turn to me and ask,

"do you think Julie will like my shirt?"

He is such a smart ass!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Oh Amelia!

A few months back Amelia decided to go through a phase of being generally dissatisfied with the world outside of her immediate family. Strangers were not allowed to look in her general direction and when sweet little children at the park ventured near her she would stare them down and growl. This phase lasted entirely too long. I thought I might lose my mind completely. Here is photo documentation of it during her second birthday:

This is Amelia acting outraged over the idea of people singing happy birthday to her

This is the face she made when other people dared to have pieces of her cake:

The theme of that day was: it's my party and I will cry if I want to. Luckily for me, because anything is better then a two year old who acts like a crotchety 80 year old woman, that phase has been replaced with the demanding phase. This new phase involves A LOT of screaming. Car rides are the worst. If Amelia drops something in the backseat while I am driving she will scream "get it, get it, GET IT!!!" She will continue screaming until we have gotten to our destination and she is able to pick up whatever it is she has dropped. Also she likes to demand impossible objects while we are driving, like lollipops, her robot backpack which is at home in her bedroom, or cereal. I calmly explain that those things are unavailable on the freeway. Sometimes simple explanations work but mostly I hear "lollipop. Please. Mommy." Over and over again for the next 15 minutes.

Dinner time is the worst. After I have sat down and am in the process of scarfing down my food Amelia will say "princess cup please!" "Dip please, Dora plate please, fork, spoon, napkin." It is ridiculous but at least she uses her manners!! Then there is the battle over the TV. If I am watching TV she will demand to watch Dora, by demand I mean that she will continue to say "Dora! Dora, DORA!" She will continue to say this until I physically pick her up and place her on the naughty step. Then she will cry forever and ask to watch blues clues. My girl has a strong will. Also, she will repeat things continuously until being acknowledged. "My daddies home, my daddies home, look, mom, daddy's home." If I don not acknowledge the fact that Daddy is indeed home she will just continue saying that same phrase over and over and over. The girl is an attention monger!! Andrew and Jacob have become feed up with it. Especially Jake who gets the grunt of her treatment. IF he dares lay a finger or elbow on her car seat he will hear about it through her shrieks of protest "my seat, no touch!"

Within the last few days I have begun project "no more screaming." This entails a ridiculous amount of time outs. Seriously, it's like one every half an hour. At first it was like every ten minutes. When the screaming begins I do not acknowledge her in the least. I just pick her up and sit her down on the step until she is finished ranting. This has served to be troublesome during her infamous car tirades; her most favorite screaming locale. Through trial and error I have learned to simply turn the radio up (yes, I know that this is parenting in its finest form!)

Here is hoping that the demanding phase will not morph into anything more menacing. I am keeping my fingers crossed!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Sharks and other stuff

Right now I feel the following emotions:

Anxious, tired, and slap happy.

It seems as if those three shouldn't coexist simultaneously but they do because I am that person. Aaron went surfing like 5 million hours ago and it is past sun down and he is not home yet. I am a nervous wreck! I am expecting a good explanation.

Nicole called awhile ago wondering where Steve was. I am trying very hard not to assume that there was some sort of freak shark attack and that my husband is now legless. I even checked sign on san diego to make sure there were no recent gruesome surfer news stories.

Right now I am also trying t convince myself that I can in fact love a legless man. I am going to assume that they are having a too long for comfort chat about philosophy. I find those conversations tiring at times so I am glad he has an outlet in Frank and Steve. I sjut wish he could pick upa phone and let a girl know!

I have noticed recently that all of my fears are completely irrational. I think normal people are afraid of burglaries and home invasions where I am deathly terrified of a bird poking out my eyeballs or a shark eating me whole. That's just not normal.

The boys are watching Cars and Amelia fell asleep two hours before her bedtime. I am hoping she does not wake up at 3am asking to watch Dora the explorer. Okay I am done rambling now!

Here are some pictures from my sisters bachlorette party:

Here are some pictures from my sisters bachlorette party:

Michelle and I (Doesn't she have great hair!)

She is wearing a penis necklace becasue she is that classy!

Posing with some cops

Our Limo driver ended up being a stalker, also can you believe the woman in this picture is in here late 40's!