My least favorite person of the day

School is making a crazy person. I feel like I don't have enough hours in my day. Everything is piling up. I am worried that I won’t succeed, that I will not be able to keep up with math or Spanish, and that I will never get the hell out of Mesa. I tanked my first spanish test mostly out of laziness.   I am concerned that I may end up the only person alive to not make it out of community college. I fear that I am in idiot.

I have been short with the kids and generally disgruntled about life. I have tons of homework and the kids are in activities that require me to drive all over the place. There are bed time routines, and lunches, and dinner to be made, laundry to do, cleaning of bathrooms, and dishes, and the bathing of little stinky people. I feel like I cannot keep up. I need an attitude adjustment.

To make matters worse Aaron is currently my least favorite person EVER. I wish more people had been brutally honest with me about marriage. Why don’t people put it out there that their spouses can be the most excoriating pains in the asses? Why do people pretend that marriage is some 24 hour 7 day a week love fest?

I love Aaron. He is great and we laugh and have fun but there are moments when I don’t even want to look at his face. THIS IS NORMAL. Normal people are incapable of being consummed with love every moment of every day.  I am under the impression, that you cannot have a healthy marriage without some angst. Right now I am angsty with him. His voice annoys me, the way he gulps down cold beverages, how he can finish a meal in a minute flat, and the fact that he watches Glen Beck, irk me beyond belief. It really has nothing to do with him and more to do with the fact that I have too much on my plate and am taking it out on him.

I am thankful for this angst. Without angst we cannot grow into happier better married people. At least I realize that it is misdirected. Tomorrow I will get over it and he will once again be my favorite person. As for right now I will wallow in my grumpiness.