My sister's wedding

I lost my voice the day before my sisters wedding. There was much speculation as to how it happened; allergies from the new climate, the abnormally late night out we had the Thursday before the wedding filled with drinking and smoking, nerves, all the stress of helping to put on the wedding, or just a common case of laryngitis. In all honesty I don't know how it happened, perhaps a combination of all those things. All I know is that not being able to speak above a whisper is really, really, annoying! At least I served as some comical relief for our family and friends, that and they were all spared my karaoke rendition of girls just want to have fun!

The wedding was amazing and perfect, one of the most special experiences of my life. The days leading up to it were chaotic and stressful but it was worth it because the wedding was a blast! I loved being able to spend time with my family, Chicago friends, and getting to know my brother in law a ton better. I adore my family. I couldn't ask for a more charmingly flawed group of individuals to share my slice of life with. My favorite moments included waking up in the morning to see my mom and Andrew collecting shells on the beach through one of the big bay windows, swimming in the ocean with aunt Anna and my uncle Pat, Getting to know my cousin Sean better, seeing how excited my brother is over Desiree's pregnancy, watching Aaron be amazing with my family, hearing Roger Jordan sing dancing queen, the way Roger and Aaron worked so hard to make sure Michelle's wedding was flawless, seeing how much Jacob adores Desiree (my sister in law), and dancing with wild Amelia at the reception.

Here are some pictures from our trip:

Me, michelle, and Desi (my bro's wife)

The three most important men in my life: My Dad, Aaron, and my Grandpa

Dad with Michelle

Me and Michelle (look how huge my chin is, I could knock someone out with that thing!)

Jacob is being a bit of a basket case about people looking at him, ha!

My good looking siblings (doesn't Roger look like Will Ferrell?)

My mom (in the white and green) with her sisters and one daughter

Just married!

The wedding party

Aaron and I

The whole family, we are pale and proud!

Aaron is into grandmas

For the last couple of months Aaron has been bringing home bulk grocery items from work. Finally I had to ask

"Is there like a Costco in the basement of spawar that I don't know about."

"It's from Julie," he told me.

He went on to explain that she kept buying bulk stuff only to find out she doesn't like the item. She has been passing things on to Aaron. Up to that point I had never heard of this Julie person. With Aaron being an engineer there are very few women at his work. I like it that way because I have a tendency toward psychotic jealousy. Yes, that's right I am a freak.

After learning who the bulk items were from I started to get super annoyed every time he would bring something home. Had the woman not heard of a regular grocery store where you buy a small box and aren't out like $20 if you aren't fond of baked cheetos? The last straw was the night he brought home this fancy gourmet soup that had a pasty note on the side, that read
"Enjoy! from Julie."

I was pissed! I swore her little note that read "enjoy!" was code for I think your hot and I want you to run away with me.

I didn't talk to Aaron all night and for spite, I ate his soup. It was good I should add, really good! Finally Aaron realized that I was giving him the cold shoulder. It takes that man ions to pick up on things. I told him that I thought this Julie person was hitting on him. He went into this horrible fit of laughter that lasted forever! I thought I might kill him.

"Why is this funny?" I asked

"Because she is a grandmother, she's old, really old. She passes food on to us because she knows we have three kids and that you stay home with them." He told me

That's when I started to feel like an idiot and a big jerk but I still wasn't ready to let go of my theory that she was in fact hitting on him.

"Old people hit on young guys."

I realized how stupid and annoying I was being but sometimes I don't like to admit to defeat also it can be fun to be mad. I started picturing Aaron and a grandmother running off together, her with her little cane and bifocals. It was all together hilarious.

"You're lucky you have me because all you can get is a granny." I told him

Now whenever Aaron gets ready for work in the morning he will turn to me and ask,

"do you think Julie will like my shirt?"

He is such a smart ass!

Oh Amelia!

A few months back Amelia decided to go through a phase of being generally dissatisfied with the world outside of her immediate family. Strangers were not allowed to look in her general direction and when sweet little children at the park ventured near her she would stare them down and growl. This phase lasted entirely too long. I thought I might lose my mind completely. Here is photo documentation of it during her second birthday:

This is Amelia acting outraged over the idea of people singing happy birthday to her

This is the face she made when other people dared to have pieces of her cake:

The theme of that day was: it's my party and I will cry if I want to. Luckily for me, because anything is better then a two year old who acts like a crotchety 80 year old woman, that phase has been replaced with the demanding phase. This new phase involves A LOT of screaming. Car rides are the worst. If Amelia drops something in the backseat while I am driving she will scream "get it, get it, GET IT!!!" She will continue screaming until we have gotten to our destination and she is able to pick up whatever it is she has dropped. Also she likes to demand impossible objects while we are driving, like lollipops, her robot backpack which is at home in her bedroom, or cereal. I calmly explain that those things are unavailable on the freeway. Sometimes simple explanations work but mostly I hear "lollipop. Please. Mommy." Over and over again for the next 15 minutes.

Dinner time is the worst. After I have sat down and am in the process of scarfing down my food Amelia will say "princess cup please!" "Dip please, Dora plate please, fork, spoon, napkin." It is ridiculous but at least she uses her manners!! Then there is the battle over the TV. If I am watching TV she will demand to watch Dora, by demand I mean that she will continue to say "Dora! Dora, DORA!" She will continue to say this until I physically pick her up and place her on the naughty step. Then she will cry forever and ask to watch blues clues. My girl has a strong will. Also, she will repeat things continuously until being acknowledged. "My daddies home, my daddies home, look, mom, daddy's home." If I don not acknowledge the fact that Daddy is indeed home she will just continue saying that same phrase over and over and over. The girl is an attention monger!! Andrew and Jacob have become feed up with it. Especially Jake who gets the grunt of her treatment. IF he dares lay a finger or elbow on her car seat he will hear about it through her shrieks of protest "my seat, no touch!"

Within the last few days I have begun project "no more screaming." This entails a ridiculous amount of time outs. Seriously, it's like one every half an hour. At first it was like every ten minutes. When the screaming begins I do not acknowledge her in the least. I just pick her up and sit her down on the step until she is finished ranting. This has served to be troublesome during her infamous car tirades; her most favorite screaming locale. Through trial and error I have learned to simply turn the radio up (yes, I know that this is parenting in its finest form!)

Here is hoping that the demanding phase will not morph into anything more menacing. I am keeping my fingers crossed!

Sharks and other stuff

Right now I feel the following emotions:

Anxious, tired, and slap happy.

It seems as if those three shouldn't coexist simultaneously but they do because I am that person. Aaron went surfing like 5 million hours ago and it is past sun down and he is not home yet. I am a nervous wreck! I am expecting a good explanation.

Nicole called awhile ago wondering where Steve was. I am trying very hard not to assume that there was some sort of freak shark attack and that my husband is now legless. I even checked sign on san diego to make sure there were no recent gruesome surfer news stories.

Right now I am also trying t convince myself that I can in fact love a legless man. I am going to assume that they are having a too long for comfort chat about philosophy. I find those conversations tiring at times so I am glad he has an outlet in Frank and Steve. I sjut wish he could pick upa phone and let a girl know!

I have noticed recently that all of my fears are completely irrational. I think normal people are afraid of burglaries and home invasions where I am deathly terrified of a bird poking out my eyeballs or a shark eating me whole. That's just not normal.

The boys are watching Cars and Amelia fell asleep two hours before her bedtime. I am hoping she does not wake up at 3am asking to watch Dora the explorer. Okay I am done rambling now!



Here are some pictures from my sisters bachlorette party:

Here are some pictures from my sisters bachlorette party:

Michelle and I (Doesn't she have great hair!)

She is wearing a penis necklace becasue she is that classy!

Posing with some cops

Our Limo driver ended up being a stalker, also can you believe the woman in this picture is in here late 40's!

a real tear jerker

Today I spent entirely too much time at the mall. I was on the hunt for wedding clothes for my sister's big day. It is all very exciting and I'm so happy for her. She is such a great girl, totally Hilarious, charming, and completely brilliant. Her hubby to be is very cool , great with my kids, and most importantly able to tolerate my sister, which says a lot. The Feely ladies are tough women to put up with but well worth it! We have horrendous tempers and the tendency to be just plain mean. Aaron could tell you stories; lots of them.


Brian, my future brother in law, is a Mormon. Well He isn't mormon anymore but his 6siblings and parents are. I am sure they are praying their little mormon hearts out over the upcoming neptuilas of There heathen son and wife to be. I like to Ask Michelle all sorts of intrusive questions, like if she will be forced to wear garmies (those oh so Flattering Mormon underwear things that go down to the ankle and are to be worn at all times. I think they have like locks). Also, I like to aske whether or not she will be going door to door with the book or Mormon sporting her garmies and unflattering shoes.

No matter how funny I think I am being Michelle is usually not very amused. She reminds me that Brian is no longer Mormon, and how would I like to be clumped together with the Catholics due to family association. Point made, but that doesn't mean I am taking out the part about her weatring garmies in my maid of honor toast.


The boys were not excited about being at the mall today especially when it turned out to be such a beautiful day! There was lots of grumbling and belly aching about why we had to go shopping and blah, blah, grumble, grumble. However, I managed to get almost everything that was requested by my big sis.

First up were the boys outfits: green linen pants (far cuter then they sound) and white polo shirts, which had to be Ralph Lauren. Michelle has a Ralph Lauren obsession. I also picked up the cute pink and white seersucker flower girl dress (also, ralph lauren of course!).

I wasn't able to get my bridesmaid dress. There was no way I was going to able to squeeze myself into the size 2 dress and the only other size was a zero. I need to do sit ups or stop eating Girl Scout cookies, one or the other, or both.

I bribed the boys into cooperating during the tiresome shopping excursion with Burger king. Andrew refused to get a kids meal

"Mom I'm 8!" he scowled.

I was shocked, seriously shocked. It was one of those mom moments where you realize that your kid is officially a big kid. If it had been a movie there would be a really cheesey song playing in the background. I started to get a little teary right there in the middle of grease infested Burger king. It wasn't exactly the mother-son moment I imagined being a real tear jerker. All the same it was a moment. I will always remember when Andrew gave up kids meals. Only in America would the kid's meal moment be right up there with losing the first tooth. It's slightly disgusting. This is where I am going to add the part about how we rarely eat fast food, which is true. Believe it despite my tears in burger king.



The dress Amelia will be sporting as flower girl:

My dress:

My sister has good taste!

My big kid

Yesterday Andrew turned 8. I write a letter to my kids every year on there birthdays that I keep tucked away in their memory boxes to present them with after the birth of their first child. This is what I wrote to Andrew this year




Dear Andrew,

Your Dad and I have been talking a lot about how we can't believe you are 8 years old. It feels like it has blown by so quickly yet I cannot imagine my life with out you. Just last week I was telling my friend Stasia how old you were going to be and she asked if I remembered that first pregnancy test I took when I found out you were going to be a part of my life




I forced Stasia to buy the test. We walked up to the Walgreens on Lagrange road. I picked out the one with the pink box because I thought it looked pretty. Those were the kind of thoughts I based my decisions on back then. I couldn't bring myself to take the box up to the counter. I kept twisting it around and around in my hands. I didn't want the cashier to look at me with judging eyes. She was an older lady with curly hair. I imagined that she was one of those ladies that slept in hair curlers and didn't leave the house without lipstick. Brave little Stasia with her skinny arms and baby face looking barely over the age of 14 brought the test up to the counter and paid for it. You could tell by the way the cashier shoved the pink box in the plastic bag and handed Stasia back the change that she was judging her. My elementary school librarian was in line behind us and asked me to say hello to my mother for her. It seemed so absurd. When we got outside both of us were laughing hard about the cashier and the librarian. Neither of us knew what kind of emotion to have so laughter seemed appropriate. At that moment I hadn't realized how intensely and beautifully my whole life was about to change.




I wish I could give the me at age nineteen sitting on Stasia bed with that positive pregnancy test a glimpse and the eight year old you. I wish she could see your little brown curls and those dirty blue converse shoes you insist on wearing nearly everyday. I wish I would've known at that moment, 8 years and 7 ½ months ago, that everything was going to be okay. Back then I wasn't sure how I would manage or even if I was capable of raising the you that you have become. You have become this wonderfully giving and sensitive person. I am constantly amazed by you and your insights. The quality I cherish most of all in you is that you will come to me candidly and tell me when you have done something wrong. This is something that at 28 I am still struggling with so to see you at age 8 able to recognize when you have made a major mistake and ask for forgiveness is huge. It makes me feel like maybe I have a few things to learn from you. You have been such a remarkable blessing in my life. I am very proud to call you my son.


Love,

Mom
">

There is nothing exciting about being 28

Today is my birthday. I feel old. This year is my ten year high school reunion. I think that makes me elderly. Aaron and I celebrated the awful age of 28 on Friday with a date night. We went to the Gregory page show at Lestats. Before the show we got the privilege of sitting near some pierced up teenagers who talked very loudly about blow jobs and acid. I don't think I have ever heard the term Gonorrhea used casually in a conversation. They said it like 20 times. They were talking about a friend who had gonorrhea of the eye, Is that even possible? I kept rolling my eyes every time they said fuck and whispered to Aaron that they needed to broaden their vocabularies. I have become that person; the old person who is nervous around teenagers and wishes they would just get their act together and stop sulking. I am my mother.



The Gregory page show was amazing and perfect, definitely the best way to celebrate my birthday. During the last two songs my right eye would not stop watering and turned red and itchy. Aaron leaned over and whispered "I think those teenagers gave you gonorrhea of the eye!"



Because I am a fan of lists this is what I hope to accomplish at the ripe age of 28

Forgive more easily
Learn how to sincerely apologize
Hold myself more accountable
Go back to school
lose some stomach weight
Become a better wife, mother, daughter, and friend
finish all the miscellaneous books that I am half way finished with
Follow through on everything I start
Make more of an effort to stay in contact with my brother
Return calls and e-mails