Thursday, October 29, 2009

I should be dead

On wednesday I nearly died. That could be an exaggeration. Maybe. It was one of those rare San Diego days where the weather matches up with the season. It was windy and cold. Instead of my usual shorts and t-shirt I had a wool sweater, jeans, and paint speckled boots on.

I had just stopped at the grocery store and was on my way to pick up Amelia and her two friends from school. I was leisurely making my way down Charger Boulevard when I saw something falling from the sky. I thought it was a dead body. I don't know why I thought that, maybe I am dark and sadistic or perhaps I have a mental problem. Who knows, but for whatever reason for a split second I was convinced that a dead body was plummeting toward my car.

Luckily it was not a corpse. It was a branch. In my defense it was a flesh colored branch. It was big, the size of an anorexic man. The wind had blown it clear off a eucalyptus tree. It landed right in front of my car. I came to a shrieking stop, heaved a sigh of relief , and drove my car around it. I suppose I could've been less lazy and gotten out of my car to remove the branch but I didn't. I was too focused on the idea that I had nearly died.

If the branch had landed on my car there would have been some serious damage, like a bleeding, gushing, death laden head injury. I was lucky. If I hadn't have spent those 2 seconds speaking to the elderly lady in the produce section about just how juicy the 98 cent per pound apples were, I may be a dead woman. Or if the deli manager at Henry's had ordered soup spoons instead of forgetting; If I hadn't have frantically searched the store before settling on a spork to go with my black bean soup I might not be here right now typing this. Or perhaps I would be here but out a couple hundred dollars on a costly car repair, or maybe not out any money at all but instead slumming it around town in a junker with a branch dent in it's roof.

Basically, My day with the branch would make for an awesome choose your own adventure story.

2 comments:

archshrk said...

If the branch had landed on your roof (and you and the car survived) you should just drive around with the branch still on the roof. Then you wouldn't have to worry about angry, Cheeto-breathed women sitting in the Food 4 Less parking lot. They'd be worried about you.

Siobhan said...

That 's true. You're full of genius ideas!