The Theme Party

Last night Aaron and I went to a MadMen inspired theme party for our friend Drew's Birthday. I am one of those people that would be thrilled if every party had a theme.  I played the part of a disgruntled housewife in a pale blue dress coupled with perfectly hot-rolled hair.

When we arrived, we easily spotted the party thanks to the dozens of minivans parked out front.  It's a clear sign that we are lame when all of our friends drive grocery-getters.

Drew makes Aaron feel uncomfortable because he is toucher.  Neither of them like one another very much but force politeness in each other's company.  As soon as we walked in the door Drew hugged Aaron.  I was inwardly cracking up as Aaron squirmed and Drew fake smiled.

Tipsy people make me feel uncomfortable.  I never realized this before last night.  Their farnk honesty freaks me out.  My friend Heather poured Aaron a hefty amount of whiskey as soon as we entered the party.  That left me with the responsibility of remaining stone-cold sober all evening. It's alarming how quickly people's inhibitions  go as soon as they drink one stiff cocktail. 

Against Aaron's better judgment he drank two large glasses of whiskey and started talking in what he believed to be a normal tone but was actually at an extremely high pitch. When Aaron started talking politics I decided it was time for us to go. 

"Am I embarassing you?" he wanted tto know.

"No, but you may cause me ot lose partial hearing in my left ear." I told him.

I let Aaron sneak out without saying bye to Drew so that he would not have to suffer through another hug. 

I dropped our babysitter at home by ten o'clock.  I am becoming old and sensible. Sigh.

I

Boo

Last night our house was booed.

It was around 8pm when we heard a loud thud at the door.  It startled us. I thought it sounded like the thud of a Jehovahs Witness attempting to spread their good news. Aaron believed it might be a needy knock coming from someone that was bleeding out on our doorstep desperately searching for a ride to the hospital. We tend to jump to conclusions.

When Aaron opened the door we were relieved to find a large basket filled with Halloween candy and crafts on our welcome matt. Buried inside were instructions on how to continue the boo cycle. We were to place a sign on our door stating that we had already been booed. Within the following two days we had to boo two other families.

Tonight we set out to boo the neighbors. Jacob had a Grim Reaper mask on as a spooky disguise. Amelia wore her fastest tennis shoes. Andrew, of course, stayed home because booing is beneath him. I told him he was boring.  He shrugged his shoulders while retrieving a popsicle from the freezer before heading back downstairs to his man cave to finish reading What is the What for the 2nd time. 

We hit Brielle and Alexander’s house first. Jacob pounded on the door and we all took off running. Amelia tripped over her own feet and laughed so hard that she peed her pants. wehad to make a pit stop at home so she could change.  Next we hit up Anna and Olivia’s house. Our cover was blown when we ran across the street back home and the kids slammed the door loudly behind us.

A few hours later we heard the sound of laughter and running legs outside. Some neighbor kids stopped at our door saw our sign and continued on to Anna’s. I could hear Olivia shout out “Mom! We got booed AGAIN!” followed by the screeching tires of a minivan fleeing the scene.

And that is why I absolutely adore our neighborhood!

You can download this boo sign here in case you want to start it up in your hood:

Seven

Amelia,

Today you are seven years old. You are still super tiny so most people confuse you for a five year old. This gives me the false illusion that you are still little, but the truth is you are growing up. You have lots of solid opinions on things like what you want to wear, listen to on the radio, and what is cute and what is not (for instance black dresses are cute while pink one are not!).  I can no longer force you into wearing peasant shirts and stripped tights!

 This year you have begun to show some serious interest in music. Thankfully you are not a Beiber fan.  In the morning on the way to school you demand that I,“turn the music up louder!” You sing loudly and out of tune.  You love to have dance parties. Brielle, our neighbor, often joins us during our dance parties but only if we close and lock the door so the boys won’t see her. You, on the other hand have no shame. You will dance anywhere, and at any time even at the grocery store if a particularly good tune is being played. You’re partial to really horrible Kate Perry and Lady GaGa songs or anything with lots of bass.

Dad bought you a piano for your birthday which I told him was insane “God help the man that marries your daughter.” I told him. Clearly you are going to have some serious expectations.

You are obsessed with playing the piano. You play in the morning first thing, before going to bed and as soon as you come home from school. I thought you would get sick of it but you haven’t yet.

While you are growing up quickly, you still do completely adorable little kid things, like saying Vampowers instead of vampires, calling restaurants, resturnants, sneaking into our bedroom in the middle of the night when you’re scared, and calling the song eye of the tiger, I love tigers.

On your Birthday I let you stay home from school so the two of us could spend the day at SeaWorld. I told your teacher you were suffering from the birthday flu. She wasn’t amused. We had a great day together. A polar bear put his nose against the glass right were your face was. We went on a ride that soaked our clothes and watched walrus eating fish, and got splashed by killer whales. It’s so rare for me to get time with just you so I loved every second. On the car ride home you were all smiles and questions. You wanted to know if bees drank water and if my red was the same color as your red. I like that you are thinking about these kinds of things. I wonder what your 7th year will have in store for you.

Love,

Mom

Useless Information

1.  I am currently reading Lolita and I find it highly disturbing,  mostly because I am a firm believer that all fiction is based on some piece of the author's true self.

2. Nabokov was a synesthete.  I wish I were one too.

3.  Aaron claims that he is a synesthete too because he can see sounds.  "Kind of like being on acid." he told me.  I don't believe it mostly becasue I am jealous.   


4.  Ciao Bella's Key lime ice cream sandwiches are the best thing in the world.

5. I would very much so like to own a pair of kelly green jeans.  I might be too old to pull something like that off but I do not care.

6. I almost died today when my car fish tailed due to the rain.  It nearly skidded off a cliff on the 163 on ramp.  While it was happening all I could think about was that my floral bra clashed with my tie dyed underwear. Stupid.

7.  The parrots that once hung out in my neighborhood have come back. Despite the fact that I hate birds I thoroughly enjoy seeing them.

8.  I want a pug for my Birthday.  feel free to purchase one for me.

9.  I am in charge of the school newspaper at the kids school.  It is so much fun!

10.  When I walk into our neighborhood library, I get goosebumps.  It's kind of feels like being in love.  A few days ago I checked out The Complete Fairytales of Oscar Wilde for Amelia and a kids short story book for the boys that featured Johnathan Safran Foer. It's the little things in life that make me happy.

11. I am, yet again, attempting to become a vegetarian.  Today I ate two ice cream sandwiches and some chips.  I am not proud of my choices.  I need to eat more veggies!

12.  I am writing a novel based on my life as a teenager.   I know that sounds ridiculous. It might be, yet, everyday I force myself to work on it for at least one hour. If it ends up being a  waste of time at least it was a fun waste of time.

13.  I love the Zooey Deschanel has a sitcom.

14. I have replaced my crush on the Mentalist's Simon Baker with Dax Shepard from Parenthood.  I have a thing for blue-eyed blonds.  I am married to one. 

Summer Sales

The ony good thing about the end of summer is the sales.

Here are my recent scores:

J.crew dress that I have been eyeballing for months I maanged to score it on clearance with an additional 40% off.  It makes me irrationally giddy.  I adore a well made dress

I saw these cute little shorts in the Anthropologie catalog back in April for $49! I became obssessed with trying to find something simailar at a cheaper price.  Luckily for me I scored them on the clearance rack. The best feature are the cute wooden buttons near each leg opening.

I lost a decent amount of stomach weight this summer. I owe my weight lose entirely on the ten minuite hula hoop excercise on Wii fit. I'm not kidding, I'm lazy enough to resort to using a video game to get in shape. In my search for a flattering bikini that would mask my problem areas I found this Kenneth Cole one at Macy's.  The skirted bottom draws attention away from the stomach and it has great mom butt coverage.  At it's sale price for $21.99 for the top and additional $21.99 for the bottom I had to pass on it until I saw marked down to nearly nothing a month later ($9 for top and bottom).  Mine is Teal and I will need to do a lot more than wii fit to look as good in it as the model does.

 

Home Again Home Again Clickety Clack

Every time I get on an airplane there is always a moment during the flight where I become convinced that I will die. I don’t panic. I accept my fate calmly. However, I do search the plane for someone to clutch on to that will have their shit together when our plane crashes.
When I flew back home from Chicago on Sunday I decided that the pint sized Japanese kid in the dirty Asics next to me would not be the person to rely on during a crash. He looked like a crier. Instead, I decided that the man two seats over with the tattoo sleeves might be a good option, only he was traveling with his wife. I moved on to the lady who looked like a mean grandma down the aisle from me. She would probably yell and scream and tell me to stop acting like an infant if I attempted to panic during a plane crash. I was certain she was the type of woman that would convince me everything would be fine right before our plane inevitably nose dove into the ocean. These are the inflight thoughts I always have. Sometimes it is overwhelming to be me.

I flew home to Chicago to surprise my mom for her 60th birthday. My sister, brother, and I did the same thing for my dad 6 years ago. My aunt Claudia set it up so that we would meet at her house and randomly show up, one by one, to surprise her. I was the last to arrive. When I came in my mom was upstairs in the bathroom. She came back down, sat next to my brother, and proceeded to chat with Claudia who I was sitting next to. She looked great. Her red hair has greyed and faded into a pretty blonde. She looked so petite and stylish. It took her a couple of minutes to realize that I was there. It was hysterical. Apparently my mom is not one to scrutinize her surroundings.

There is sadness involved in returning home. I thought it would be easier this time because it has been three years since my dad passed but his absence is so palpable. He was such a calming presence that without him the dynamic of our family has shifted. I missed him so much that my 4 day trip became a bit of an emotional drain. It made me feel out of sorts and little bit grumpy. I’m glad I went home because I love spending time with my mom. I got to really know my nephews,Seamus and Anthony, and spend lots of time with my sister and friends and brother. I am thankful for that.

When I miss my dad I can remember what his shoulders felt like. I had a habit of leaning my head on them. It doesn’t really make sense but the whole time I was home it felt like my head was resting on his shoulder. I could even imagine the feel of his soft gray sweater that he wore often. When I walked through Midway airport on the way to my flight home, I remembered taking the same escalator with the small steel bird sculptor hanging overhead with my parents and the kids. It was years ago when Andrew, Jacob, and Amelia were a handful to manage. I remember mom and dad walking me to the security check and hugging us all goodbye.  The memory was so vivid that I could feel their hugs.  It made me unbelievably sad. I wonder when I will learn to stop missing my dad so much.

The best way to explain my visit back to Chicago is to compare it to entering your neighborhood grocery store after it’s been remodeled. You’re excited to check it out only to find out that it’s the same but foreign and completely frustrating.  It's going to take some getting used to.

August so far

In August

Amelia lost her two front teeth.  She is growing up so very, very fast

Jacob joined cub scouts

who said cub scouts was for dorks--not these two!

The boys graduated from their second year of Junior lifeguards

Andrew grew like a foot and half.  He has decided to be all angsty and moody 24/7.  It cracks me up because I remember being exactly the same way at 13.  Hello puberty!